Wisdom from the Margins: Clever Women and Children in Talmudic Tales (Eruvin 53b)
The Clever Hostess and the Lesson in Etiquette: How a Woman Outsmarted R' Yehoshua ben Ḥananya; How a Young Girl Outwitted R' Yehoshua ben Ḥananya; A Lesson in Wisdom from a Young Boy
Outline
The Clever Hostess and the Lesson in Etiquette: How a Woman Outsmarted R' Yehoshua ben Ḥananya
“Path of Robbers”: How a Young Girl Outwitted R' Yehoshua ben Ḥananya
The Paradox of the Crossroads: A Lesson in Wisdom from a Young Boy
The Passage
Intro
R’ Yehoshua ben Ḥananya remarked that in his entire life, only three individuals bested him1 in a verbal exchange: a woman, a young boy (תינוק), and a young girl (תינוקת).
אמר רבי יהושע בן חנניה:
מימי לא נצחני אדם, חוץ מ
אשה
תינוק
ותינוקת.
Having discussed the clever speech of various Sages, the Gemara relates that R' Yehoshua ben Ḥananya said as follows:
In all my days, no person defeated me in a verbal encounter except for
a woman,
a young boy,
and a young girl.
The Clever Hostess and the Lesson in Etiquette: How a Woman Outsmarted R' Yehoshua ben Ḥananya
The Talmud recounts a story in which R' Yehoshua ben Ḥananya admits being outwitted in a verbal encounter by a woman. While staying with a hostess,2 she served him beans. On the first two days, he ate all the beans without leaving any leftovers, which was considered impolite. On the third day, the hostess deliberately over-salted the beans, making them inedible. When she asked why he wasn't eating, he avoided offending her by saying he had already eaten.3
She cleverly pointed out that proper etiquette required leaving some food on the plate, suggesting that his failure to do so earlier may have led to his current behavior. This encounter was one of the few instances where R' Yehoshua was outsmarted.
אשה מאי היא?
פעם אחת, נתארחתי אצל אכסניא אחת,
עשתה לי פולין ביום ראשון — אכלתים, ולא שיירתי מהן כלום.
שנייה -- ולא שיירתי מהן כלום.
ביום שלישי -- הקדיחתן במלח, כיון שטעמתי — משכתי ידי מהן.
אמרה לי: רבי, מפני מה אינך סועד?
אמרתי לה: כבר סעדתי מבעוד יום.
אמרה לי: היה לך למשוך ידיך מן הפת!
אמרה לי: רבי, שמא לא הנחת פאה בראשונים? ולא כך אמרו חכמים: אין משיירין פאה באלפס, אבל משיירין פאה בקערה.
What is the encounter in which a woman got the better of me?
One time I was staying at a certain inn and the hostess prepared me beans.
On the first day I ate them and left nothing over, although proper etiquette dictates that one should leave over something on his plate.
On the second day I again ate and left nothing over.
On the third day she over-salted them so that they were inedible. As soon as I tasted them, I withdrew my hands from them.
She said to me: My Rabbi, why aren’t you eating beans as on the previous days?
Not wishing to offend her, I said to her: I have already eaten during the daytime.
She said to me: You should have withdrawn your hand from bread and left room for some beans.
She then said to me: My Rabbi, perhaps you did not leave a remainder of food on your plate on the first days, which is why you are leaving over food today.
Isn’t this what the Sages said: One need not leave a remainder in the pot [ilpas], but one must leave a remainder on the plate as an expression of etiquette (Tosafot). This is the incident in which a woman got the better of R' Yehoshua ben Ḥananya.
“Path of Robbers”: How a Young Girl Outwitted R' Yehoshua ben Ḥananya
In this incident, R' Yehoshua ben Ḥananya was walking along a path that cut through a field. A young girl approached him and pointed out that walking through a field might damage the crops. R' Yehoshua responded that he was walking on a well-trodden path, which he believed was permissible. The girl then remarked that the path existed because “robbers”4 like him, who ignored the wrongness of trespassing, had created it.
In this way, she outwitted the R' by highlighting that the path's existence was due to prior wrongdoing.
תינוקת מאי היא?
פעם אחת הייתי מהלך בדרך,
והיתה דרך עוברת בשדה,
והייתי מהלך בה.
אמרה לי תינוקת אחת: רבי, לא שדה היא זו?!
אמרתי לה: לא, דרך כבושה היא.
אמרה לי: ליסטים כמותך כבשוה.
What is the incident with a young girl?
One time I was walking along the path,
and the path passed through a field,
and I was walking on it.
A certain young girl said to me: My Rabbi, isn’t this a field?! One should not walk through a field, so as not to damage the crops growing there.
I said to her: Isn’t it a well-trodden path in the field, across which one is permitted to walk?
She said to me: Robbers like you have trodden it. In other words, it previously had been prohibited to walk through this field, and it is only due to people such as you, who paid no attention to the prohibition, that a path has been cut across it. Thus, the young girl defeated R' Yehoshua ben Ḥananya in a debate.
The Paradox of the Crossroads: A Lesson in Wisdom from a Young Boy
R' Yehoshua ben Ḥananya was walking along a path, when he encounters a young boy sitting at a crossroads (פרשת דרכים). R' Yehoshua ben Ḥananya asks the boy which path to take to reach the city. The boy offers two options: a "short and long" path and a "long and short" path. R' Yehoshua ben Ḥananya chooses the "short and long" path
Upon nearing the city, R' Yehoshua ben Ḥananya discovers that it is surrounded by gardens and orchards, making it difficult to find the way through. R' Yehoshua returns to the boy and questions why he had described the route as short, to which the boy responds that he had indeed warned that the route was also long. R' Yehoshua then praises the boy for his wisdom.
תינוק מאי היא?
פעם אחת הייתי מהלך בדרך,
וראיתי תינוק יושב על פרשת דרכים.
ואמרתי לו: באיזה דרך נלך לעיר?
אמר לי: זו קצרה וארוכה, וזו ארוכה וקצרה.
והלכתי בקצרה וארוכה,
כיון שהגעתי לעיר, מצאתי שמקיפין אותה גנות ופרדיסין.
חזרתי לאחורי.
אמרתי לו: בני, הלא אמרת לי קצרה?
אמר לי: ולא אמרתי לך ארוכה?!
נשקתיו על ראשו, ואמרתי לו: אשריכם ישראל, שכולכם חכמים גדולים אתם, מגדולכם ועד קטנכם.
What is the incident with a young boy?
One time I was walking along the path,
and I saw a young boy sitting at the crossroads.
And I said to him: On which path shall we walk in order to get to the city?
He said to me: This path is short and long, and that path is long and short.
I walked on the path that was short and long.
When I approached the city I found that gardens and orchards surrounded it, and I did not know the trails leading through them to the city.
I went back and met the young boy again and said to him: My son, didn’t you tell me that this way is short?
He said to me: And didn’t I tell you that it is also long?!
I kissed him on his head and said to him: Happy are you, O Israel, for you are all exceedingly wise, from your old to your young.
נצחני - literally: “conquered me”. On the usage of military terms for verbal debate in the Talmud, see Rosen-Zvi, JSIJ 12 (2013), “The Rise And Fall Of Rabbinic Masculinity“, pp. 1-22.
Esp. p. 14 (quoted also in my piece that I cite in a later footnote.):
“It thus should not surprise us that the most basic terminology of the house of study is that of war. The sages are shield holders (בעלי תריסים), they attack (מתקיף) and defeat each other (מנצחים זה את זה).”