G’mar Chatimah Tovah! This is the sixth and final part of a six-part series, on the occasion of the upcoming Jewish holiday of Yom Kippur.1
Rav Ḥisda - One should seek appeasement before three rows of three people - Job 33:27
(ואמר) רב חסדא:
וצריך לפייסו בשלש שורות של שלשה בני אדם,
שנאמר:
״ישור על אנשים
ויאמר: חטאתי
וישר העויתי
ולא שוה לי״.
Rav Ḥisda said:
And one must appease the one he has insulted with 3 rows of 3 people,
as it is stated:
“He comes [yashor] before men,
and says: I have sinned,
and perverted (העויתי) that which was right,
R’ Yosei b. Ḥanina - One need ask forgiveness only three times - Genesis 50:17
(ואמר) רבי יוסי בר חנינא:
כל המבקש מטו מחבירו,
אל יבקש ממנו יותר משלש פעמים,
שנאמר:
״אנא, שא נא
ועתה, שא נא״.
R’ Yosei bar Ḥanina said:
Anyone who asks forgiveness of his friend should not ask more than 3 times,
as it is stated:
“Please (אנא), please (נא) forgive the transgression of your brothers and their sin, for they did evil to you.
And now, please forgive” (Genesis 50:17).4
If the offended person has died, one confesses before ten people at the grave
ואם מת —
מביא עשרה בני אדם
ומעמידן על קברו,
ואומר:
חטאתי לה׳ אלהי ישראל
ולפלוני שחבלתי בו.
And if the insulted friend dies before he can be appeased,
one brings 10 people,
and stands them at the grave of the insulted friend,
and says in front of them:
I have sinned against YHWH, the God of Israel,
and against so-and-so (פלוני) whom I wounded (חבלתי).
R’ Yirmeya and R’ Abba anecdote - R’ Yirmeya humbled himself to seek R’ Abba’s forgiveness
רבי ירמיה הוה ליה מילתא לרבי אבא בהדיה,
אזל איתיב אדשא דרבי אבא
The Talmud relates that
R’ Yirmeya insulted R’ Abba, causing the latter to have a complaint5 against him.
R’ Yirmeya went and sat at the threshold (דשא) of R’ Abba’s house
to beg him for forgiveness.
R’ Yirmeya was accidentally humiliated in the process
בהדי דשדיא אמתיה מיא,
מטא זרזיפי דמיא ארישא.
When R’ Abba’s maid poured out the dirty water from the house,
the stream of water landed on R’ Yirmeya’s head.
Psalms 113:7
אמר:
עשאוני כאשפה.
קרא אנפשיה:
״מאשפות ירים אביון״.
[R’ Yirmeya] said about himself:
They have made me into a trash heap (אשפה),
as they are pouring dirty water on me.
[R’ Yirmeya] recited this verse about himself:
“Who lifts up the needy out of the trash heaps (אשפות)” (Psalms 113:7).
R’ Abba then considered himself obliged to appease R’ Yirmeya - Proverbs 6:3
שמע רבי אבא
ונפיק לאפיה,
אמר ליה:
השתא צריכנא למיפק אדעתך,
דכתיב:
״לך התרפס
ורהב רעיך״.
R’ Abba heard what happened
and went out to greet [R’ Yirmeya].
R’ Abba said to [R’ Yirmeya]:
Now I must go out to appease you (למיפק אדעתך) for this insult,
as it is written:
“Go, humble yourself [hitrapes]
and urge your neighbor” (Proverbs 6:3).6
R’ Zeira anecdote - R’ Zeira made himself accessible to people who had wronged him, so they could easily apologize
רבי זירא כי הוה ליה מילתא בהדי איניש,
הוה חליף ותני לקמיה
וממצי ליה,
כי היכי דניתי וניפוק ליה מדעתיה.
It is related that
when R’ Zeira had a complaint (מילתא) against a person who insulted him,
he would pass (חליף) repeatedly (ותני) before him
and present himself7
so that the person could come and appease him.8
Rav and the butcher anecdote - Rav went personally to allow an offending butcher to reconcile before Yom Kippur
רב הוה ליה מילתא בהדי ההוא טבחא,
לא אתא לקמיה.
במעלי יומא דכפורי
אמר איהו:
איזיל אנא לפיוסי ליה.
It is further related that
Rav had a complaint against a certain butcher who insulted him.
[The butcher] did not come before him to apologize.
On Yom Kippur eve,
[Rav] said:
I will go and appease [the butcher].
Rav Huna predicts the butcher’s death
פגע ביה רב הונא,
אמר ליה: להיכא קא אזיל מר?
אמר ליה: לפיוסי לפלניא.
אמר: אזיל אבא למיקטל נפשא.
[Rav] met his student Rav Huna,
[Rav Huna] said to him: Where is my Master [=Rav] going?
[Rav] said to [Rav Huna]: I am going to appease so-and-so [=the butcher].
Rav Huna called Rav by his name and said: Abba is going to kill a person,
for surely that butcher will consequently die.
the butcher refused Rav’s advances
אזל וקם עילויה.
הוה יתיב וקא פלי רישא,
דלי עיניה וחזייה,
אמר ליה:
אבא את?
זיל, לית לי מילתא בהדך.
[Rav] went and stood by [the butcher].
Rav found the butcher sitting and splitting (פלי) the head of an animal.
[The butcher] raised his eyes and saw [Rav].
[The butcher] said to [Rav]:
Are you Abba?
Go, I have nothing to say to you.
and the butcher immediately died accidentally
בהדי דקא פלי רישא,
אישתמיט גרמא
ומחייה בקועיה וקטליה.
While [the butcher] was splitting the animal head,
one of the bones of the head flew out9
and struck him in the throat (קועיה) and killed him,
thereby fulfilling Rav Huna’s prediction.
Rav and R’ Ḥanina anecdote
רב הוה פסיק סידרא קמיה דרבי.
עייל אתא רבי חייא —
הדר לרישא.
עייל בר קפרא —
הדר לרישא.
אתא רבי שמעון ברבי —
הדר לרישא.
The Talmud further relates:
Rav was reciting the Torah portion before R’ Yehuda HaNasi.
R’ Ḥiyya, Rav’s uncle and teacher, came in,
whereupon Rav returned to the beginning of the portion and began to read it again.
Afterward, Bar-Kappara came in,
and Rav returned to the beginning of the portion out of respect for bar Kappara.
Then R’ Shimon, son of R’ Yehuda HaNasi, came in,
and he returned again to the beginning of the portion.
אתא רבי חנינא (בר) חמא,
אמר: כולי האי נהדר וניזיל?!
לא הדר.
איקפיד רבי חנינא
Then, R’ Ḥanina bar Ḥama came in,
and Rav said to himself: should I go back and read so many times?!
[Rav] did not return but continued from where he was.
R’ Ḥanina was offended
because Rav seemed to be indicating that R’ Ḥanina was less important than the others.
Rav sought R’ Ḥanina’s forgiveness for thirteen Yom Kippur eves, R’ Ḥanina refused his advances
אזל רב לגביה תליסר מעלי יומי דכפורי
ולא איפייס.
Rav went before [R’ Ḥanina] on Yom Kippur eve every year for 13 years to appease him,
but [R’ Ḥanina] would not be appeased.10
Appendix - The symbolism of experiencing seminal emission (‘Keri’) on Yom Kippur (Yoma 88a)
Yoma/88a#10 thru #11
Tanna before Rav Naḥman - One who experiences a (nocturnal) seminal emission on Yom Kippur has his sins forgiven
תני תנא קמיה דרב נחמן:
הרואה קרי ביום הכפורים —
עונותיו מחולין לו.
[...]
§ Apropos the halakhot of immersion for one who has had a seminal emission on Yom Kippur, the Talmud relates:
A tanna taught a baraita before Rav Naḥman:
With regard to one who sees a nocturnal emission of semen (קרי - keri) on Yom Kippur --
his sins are forgiven.
[...]
R’ Yishmael’s School - One who experiences a (nocturnal) seminal emission on Yom Kippur should fear throughout the year, but surviving the year signifies a share in the World-to-Come
תנא דבי רבי ישמעאל:
הרואה קרי ביום הכפורים —
ידאג כל השנה כולה,
The school of R’ Yishmael taught:
One who sees a nocturnal emission of semen on Yom Kippur --
should worry the whole year
that perhaps he was given a sign that he and his fast were rejected.
ואם עלתה לו שנה —
מובטח לו שהוא בן העולם הבא.
But if he survives the year --
he can be assured that his good deeds protected him and ensured for him a share in the World-to-Come.
Rav Naḥman bar Yitzḥak - The involuntary (nocturnal) emission is (paradoxically) viewed as a favorable sign: while everyone else is (sexually) deprived, he has been (sexually) satiated
אמר רב נחמן בר יצחק:
תדע,
שכל העולם כולו רעב
והוא שבע.
Rav Naḥman bar Yitzḥak said:
Know that it is so,
as the whole world is hungry due to refraining from sex,
and he is satiated11
Rav Dimi - an emission on Yom Kippur signifies long life and abundant progeny - Isaiah 53:10
כי אתא רב דימי אמר:
מפיש חיי
סגי
ומסגי.
When Rav Dimi came from Eretz Yisrael to Babylonia he said:
Seeing semen on Yom Kippur is a sign that one will
live a long life (מפיש חיי),
grow (סגי),
and raise others.12
Part 1 is here; Part 2 is here; Part 3 is here; Part 4 is here; Part 5 is here; the outline of the series is at Part 1.
See also this other piece of mine on another aggadic sugya related to Yom Kippur: “ “Today is Yom Kippur, and several virgins had sex in Neharde’a”: Anecdotes of Sinning on Yom Kippur (Yoma 19b-20a)”.
And see these pieces related to the High Priest’s service in the Temple on Yom Kippur in the Second Temple period:
[Yoma 19b - Sadducean High Priest offers incense per Sadducee reading]
“Prophecy, Omens, and Miracles: Shimon HaTzaddik and the Foreshadowing of the Second Temple’s Destruction (Yoma 39a-b)”, final part: Pt2
[Yoma 71b - People honor Shemaya and Avtalyon over High Priest]
Steinsaltz:
Rav Ḥisda interprets the word yashor as related to the word shura, “row”. The verse mentions sin 3 times: “I have sinned, and perverted (העויתי), and it profited me not.” This implies that one should make 3 rows before the person from whom he is asking forgiveness.
Steinsaltz:
The verse uses the word “please” 3 times, which shows that one need not ask more than 3 times, after which the insulted friend must be appeased and forgive.
This verse is in the context of Joseph’s brothers asking Joseph for forgiveness.
מילתא - literally: “word, thing”, i.e. “something”, some unspecified issue.
On this word, see Jastrow (modernized), entry “ מִילְּתָא”:
word; thing, affair etc.
Targum Jonathan on Numbers 31:8 מ׳ דקוסמין (not מִלְתָּא) some sorcery; and frequently.
Beitzah 38a:9 דאימא מ׳ דתתקבל that I may say something acceptable.
Gittin 23a:3 לאו מ׳ היא דאמרי וכ׳ what I said that …, was nothing (was not correct).
Temurah 4b:30, and frequently. כל מ׳ דאמר וכ׳ anything that the Law says not to do, if done etc., see הֲנִי.
Shevuot 34b:6, and frequently. כל מ׳ דלא רמיא וכ׳ a thing in which one has no interest, is not noticed exactly.
Avodah Zarah 18a:6 זילא בי מ׳ וכ׳ it is something disgraceful to me that etc.
Shabbat 81b:6 אמדה איהי מ׳ she spoke a word (magic spell).
Gittin 30a:18, see אֲקַן.
Avodah Zarah 66b:5; and elsewhere. ריחא מ׳ היא the flavor (of a forbidden thing) is something substantial (fit to affect ritually the substance receiving it).
Gittin 52b:10 מ׳ בעלמא וכ׳ it is merely a favor he does the court; and very frequently.
Referring to the homiletic interpretation of this verse earlier in the sugya, in Part 5, sections “R’ Yitzḥak - Even verbal injury requires appeasing the offended person“ and “Prooftext - one should repay money when relevant or enlist others to help secure forgiveness - Proverbs 6:1–3“.
ממצי.
On this word, see Jastrow (modernized), entry “מְצִי I”, section “Af’el - אַמְצִיא”:
(with נפשיה, or without)
to place one’s self within sight of an enemy so as to give him a chance for reconciliation, to be ready for reconciliation.
Yoma 87a הוה מַמְצִיא נפשיה (see Rabbinowicz, ‘Dikdukei Sofrim’ there, note; printed edition: וממציא ליה).
Steinsaltz:
R’ Zeira made himself available, so that it would be easy for the other person to apologize to him.
אישתמיט.
On this word, see Jastrow (modernized), entry “שְׁמַט”, section “Itpe’el - אִשְׁתְּמִיט”, sense #1:
to slip off, be dislocated; to break loose.
Targum Jonathan on Leviticus 21:18 דמִשְׁתְּמִיט יריכיה (Hebrew text שרוע), see the preceding word
and elsewhere.
The Talmud then discusses the anecdote, asking why R’ Hanina was halachically permitted to rebuff Rav’s repeated requests for forgiveness. I elide that here.
Steinsaltz:
since he emitted semen and his lust was subdued. Since the issue was involuntary and not intentional, it is a sign that he has merited divine compassion.
On the usage of metaphors of “hungry” vs “satisfied” in the context of sex, compare the well-known passage elsewhere, in my “Pt2 The Evil Inclination (‘Yetzer HaRa’) and Human Moral Struggle (Sukkah 52a-b)“, section “R’ Yoḥanan - A man has a “small organ” (=penis): if he “starves” it (of sex), it is satisfied; if he “feeds” it (overindulges in sex), it is always hungry - Hosea 13:6“.
And compare also the use of the Talmudic metaphor of “bread in the basket” in the context of sex, which I discuss in a note in “Bread in the Basket, Eyes on the Plate: Talmudic Psychology (Yoma 74b-75a)“, on section “The Afflictions of Manna and the Importance of Sight in Eating“.
מסגי.
Steinsaltz:
An allusion to that is the verse: “That he might see his seed and prolong his days” (Isaiah 53:10).
On this word, see Jastrow (modernized), entry “סְגֵי”:
(Biblical Hebrew שָׂגָה, שָׂגָא; Saf’el of גאי; compare Job 8:11)
to swell, rise, grow, spread, increase, thrive.
and frequently.
participle סָגֵי; feminine סַגְיָא.
Onkelos Exodus 9:9, and following Berliner edition (edition Vienna, and Yerushalmi: סַגִּי).
and frequently.
Esther Rabbah introduction (פתיחתא) מן דסְגוֹ דייני שיקרא סְגוּן וכ׳ when faithless judges are numerous, false witnesses are frequent;
מן דסגון … סָגִין ממונהן וכ׳ when informers are numerous, the cases of people’s properties being despoiled increase;
Yalkut Shimoni on Nach 1044:1 מדסְגָן … סְגִיאוּ;
Yalkut Shimoni on Nach 920:10 מדסגן … סְגִיאוּ.
Mishnah Sotah 9:15 (Sotah 49b:2) יִסְגֵּא, see חוּצְפָּא;
and frequently.
2) (= Hebrew רַב) to be sufficient.
Sanhedrin 6a:9 תִּסְגֵּי בתרי let it be enough with two judges.
[Targum Sheni Esther III, 3 סגיתיה, read סַג יָתֵיה, see סוּג Aramaic]
Af’el: - אַסְגֵּי to enlarge, increase, make great; to have much, do much.
and frequently.
Yoma 88a:11 סָגֵי ומַ סְגֵּי he will grow and multiply (his descendants will be numerous).
Pa’el: - סַגֵּי same.
Onkelos Numbers 14:17 סַגִּי (imperative).
Itpe’el: - אִסְתְּגֵי to be multiplied; to increase.